How Do People See a Depressed Person

Depression is very often hidden and others may not understand what you’re going through.  | Image by: Anthony Tran

Depression is not an uncommon term. Most of us have heard of it, many have suffered from depression, and others are suffering from it right now.

The demands of our lives and a lack of proper emotional support can push anyone into depression. 

What makes the matter even worse is that people often don't know that they are depressed, let alone getting help for it. 

To put into perspective, as much as 80% of those suffering from depression don't even go to see a doctor. A whopping 80% of the people! This means that most people suffer in silence, which is sad and concerning. 

Although it's not surprising that people often don't seek help for depression, and that's because the topic of mental health is still a taboo subject, and people fear they will be judged for having any mental health issues. 

Things may be a little better than before, but we're still not at a place of complete acceptance and inclusion. 

So, here are some of the common assumptions people make about someone who is depressed.

Note: This post is not meant to help you self-diagnose or treat any health conditions, but to raise awareness so that if you notice these signs in yourself or someone you know, you can take the necessary steps to get help for yourself or your loved ones.

What do people think about depressed people?

How people see people who are struggling with depression. Long story short: Depression can happen to anyone. It is indeed a recognised mental disorder and it’s not a sign of mental weakness. But most importantly, it can be treated with appropriate support. | Image by: The author.

1. Depression Is Nothing But Sadness

Let me start by saying that a lot of people don't even consider depression as an illness. They think it's just sadness and that people can get over it if they try to smile and be happy. 

But for someone who is depressed, it's a lot more complicated than it sounds. The truth is if they could do that, they would.  Who likes to feel sad, worthless and hopeless? 

Depression wouldn't be recognised as a mental disorder if they could just shake it off like that.

Yes, a crucial component of depression is sadness. However, that's not the only criterion for the diagnosis of depression. 

It's not just sadness. Depression is so much more than that.

2. They Are Mentally Weak, That's Why They Have Mental Health Issues

The second thing is, people think that those who are depressed are "weak". In reality, depression has nothing to do with whether you are strong or weak. It has no boundaries. It can happen to the strongest of the strongest and even to the most positive person you know. 

Sadly, many of these strong and positive people often suffer in silence because not many ask them how they're doing-- because they're strong and seemingly happy.

Depression can affect the most mentally strong, ambitious and confident person out there. It has no relationship with age, gender or your personality. Being mindful of this will help you be more compassionate towards your loved ones.

I believe if you're living with depression, chances are that you are mentally strong, and that is why many people can hide it so well.

3. They Are Trying To Seek Attention

Depressed people are often seen as attention seekers. When a person is open about their condition, people think they are being melodramatic and seeking attention and that they should get over themselves. 

But here's the thing: If people won't talk about it, how will the stigma ever end? If we can express our happiness, why can't we express our sadness with the same freedom? 

I know society teaches us to shut up because it's not polite to make others uncomfortable. But the fact is, if you don't make a noise, change can never happen. If you want the world to be a better place, you should encourage people to speak up.

The reason why people don't speak up about their health issues and their problems is because they know they won't get any help, and at the end of the day, they will be judged and tagged as someone who is "weak".

So, yes, most people probably never say anything about their depression at all-- which is sad because you wouldn't want your loved ones to suffer in silence, right?

Watch this video to learn about 4 (of many) signs you're depressed and not seeking attention.

What it feels like to be depressed?

Now let's see in brief what depression actually "feels" like, in contrast of what other people think.

This is how depressed person feels. Therefore, what you need to do is be kind to those who are struggling with depression. They already feel way worse. | Image by: The author.

Here are some of the signs and symptoms of depression for a better idea. 

1. Low mood. 
2. Hopelessness. 
3. Guilt, worthlessness, helplessness. 
4. Oversleeping or not sleeping enough (insomnia). 
5. Weight gain or weight loss. 
6. Loss of interest in activities you loved doing. 
7. Low energy or fatigue. 
8. Pessimism.
9. Difficulty in concentration, memory and making decisions. 
10. Ideas or attempts of suicide. 

As you can see, depression is more than just sadness. If it were just sadness, you could probably treat it with a good cry or spending quality time with your friends or loved ones. And while these things may help, you often need medical help to deal with depression.

Additionally, different people will describe their feelings differently. 

Some people also feel "numbness"; a total lack of feelings. They don't feel sad about the sad or happy. 

Every feeling is the same...numb. 

They lose their interest and motivation in life. A lot of people also suffer from mood swings.

And what do depressed people think? Everything negative.

Depression is not as easy as it seems. It's not "another blue day".

Depression is much more than what people think. It is an issue of concern because it's very common and mostly ignored as nothing-- even by those suffering from it.

What Can You Do To Help Someone With Depression?

The first step would be not to assume anything. Two people suffering from depression may have a different set of symptoms and may behave differently. 

Some people are great at hiding their depression, and that doesn't mean that their depression is any less of a concern. So, don't assume what depression looks like. 

If you know someone with depression: 

1. Don't try to fix their problems. 

The internal fight is always their own. Yes, you can help in many ways, like being a good listening ear when they want to talk about something, but you can't fix their thought processes or their problems. Leave this part out for them to deal with on their own with the help of the professionals (therapist and/or psychiatrist). 

Trying to fix other people's problems can take a toll on your mental health as well.

2. Don’t force them to share.

Another important thing to remember is that please don't force them to reveal things they don't wish to reveal or share. When they want to, they will. Patience on your part would be of utmost importance for your well-being and to win their trust. 

You can be of help to others only when you are doing well.

3. Ask them if there is something you can do for them. 

You don't necessarily need to say, "I'm here for you". You can choose to show them instead. Ask them if they want help buying groceries, putting food out for their pet, watering their plants, driving to the doctor, etc. Small things like these can help them maintain their well-being and their surroundings. 

Again, you don't need to overextend either; you must take care of your mental health as well, but only as much as you comfortably can. Ask more of your friends/family to help out. Doing simple chores for them is a great way to let them know that you are there for them and that they are loved.

Bottomline: 

Please be kind and don't assume what someone might be going through. If you don't understand what it is like to be depressed, make yourself available and let your loved ones know you are there for them.

Take care of them, but don't forget to care for yourself too. 

So, What You Should Remember?

In the past few years, mental health has received the kind of attention that it deserves. People now have more awareness about certain mental health conditions like depression and anxiety, which are two of the most common mental health issues, than ever before. 

When I first wrote this post, mental health was not that greatly talked about. But today the scenario is completely different.

So, we are off to a great start. But the work is still not done yet. There is a lot that still needs to be done, and the stigma is not necessarily gone, even though better support is available.

When it comes to depression and mental issues:

• there is a general lack of awareness, and people don't realise that the sadness they feel could be something more, 

• mental health issues are still kind of a taboo subject, and people fear getting labelled as "mentally sick", and

• it is often seen as a sign of personal weakness, and so people try not to accept that they have depression.

These are some of the common challenges that we have when it comes to mental health. But I hope with support and understanding we will be able to make the world a safe place for everyone.

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© Quirky Writes 2016

Updated: December 2024