4 Habits That Are Killing Your Dreams

Our habits play an important role in determining how our lives turn out to be. If you are not where you want to be, it's quite likely that one of your habits is responsible for it.

Our success, our failure-- everything depends on our habits. Good habits will bring constructive changes, while bad ones will keep you stuck in one place and will not let you move ahead.

With time, bad habits become an integral part of us, which then becomes difficult to get rid of. So, to move ahead in life you need to break these chains of bad habits, and to break them, you need to realize what are your bad habits that are ruining your dreams.

Not sure what's keeping you stuck? Well, here are the 4 most common dream-killers.

4 Habits That Are Killing Your Dreams

1. Procrastination: The Master Of Delaying Things!

This had to be in the number one spot! Procrastination!

You may have the most innovative ideas and a great action plan, but if you don't work on them, you will never achieve your dreams. Need I say more?

I struggle with procrastination more frequently than I'd like to and therefore, I know it can be hard to get over it. But this is the biggest dream-killer out there.

Scientifically speaking, it's not just laziness. Many underlying psychological factors are usually behind your habit of procrastination.

Some of the most common factors are fear of failure, unfamiliarity with a situation, perfectionism, and poor focus (due to, say, lack of sleep, burnout, etc). But whatever the cause may be, you need to figure out a way to help yourself tackle procrastination before it swallows your dreams.

One of my favourite methods to overcome procrastination is the pomodoro technique. It involves 25 minutes of study/work followed by 5 minutes of break. 

You can personalise it by increasing the time according to your capabilities. But if you struggle with focus and procrastination, starting with 25 minutes or even 15 minutes of work on a stretch will help you warm up and build better habits around discipline.

Try it. It's simple, and it works.

2. Fear: Full Of Self-Doubt?

All of us are familiar with this cruel part of ourselves, aren't we? A great idea pops into your mind, only to be shot down by your self-doubts.

Trust me, I feel you if you are a chronic self-doubter, because I doubt my abilities all the time. Yes, it happens. And you should know it's not unnatural to question ourselves or your decisions sometimes.

There's no harm in double-checking our ideas or decisions, and in fact, sometimes this may lead to better ideas or plans. 

Doubting your plans is not a bad thing, but letting self-doubt control your life is. If you let your self-doubt have you stuck in a single place for decades, that's wrong.

When you start doubting yourself, you think of every possible thing that could go wrong. Again, this is not necessarily a bad thing. Listing the hurdles that might come your way can help you plan better.

But constant worrying, not taking up new challenges because "you are not qualified enough", and constant fear of failure will only give you a sad, unfulfilled life.

Here's what helps me deal with self-doubt: I am kind of a control freak (not a quality I'm very fond of, but it's a part of me). I don't like it when things go out of my control. I make plans and I try my best to stick to them. But even with great plans and amazing backup plans (yes, plans with an "s") I find myself in uncomfortable situations most of the time. Everything fails even with proper planning, even in the area of my expertise. 

So, you see, you may think "What if things go out of control and I find myself in deep sh"t"? Well, guess what, you'll be there anyway. 

It doesn't matter whether you're an entry-level entrepreneur or the CEO of a billion-dollar company or a regular simple human like me, you will find yourself in deep sh*t more often than you like. That's just how life is-- it surprises you in a way you couldn't even imagine in your wildest imaginations.

So, why not just jump into it with a positive attitude? Let go of the fear and control, and go with the flow. 

When you let go of control, your mind is more relaxed, and you can better handle any challenge that comes your way. And, the more challenges you face, the more resilient you become and the more you learn. That's how you build self-confidence-- the confidence to face any challenge.

It's our human nature to self-doubt, but having doubts in mind doesn't necessarily mean you are not doing a good job. So, don't let it become the cause of your anxiety, your limitations, or an excuse.

Do you think you can't finish a job? Well, you'll learn along the way. Seek help, find resources and keep going. That's how it works for everyone. 

Everyone starts at level zero.

3. Perfectionism: Hello, Perfectionists!

In simple terms, perfectionism is the crazy need for everything to be "perfect". It doesn't necessarily mean that everything that you do is perfect. It's rather a thought or a way of thinking, that everything should be perfect.

In late 2019, I had this epiphany that I'm a control freak perfectionist. "Everything has to be perfect or else it doesn't deserve to see the daylight!". Although this was never a dominant thought in my conscious mind, my subconscious mind was diverting my brain to seek perfectionism. 

I wasn't even aware that I was subconsciously chasing perfectionism in every aspect of my life until that day. And, this is how perfectionism is for most people-- they are not aware they are perfectionists.

Now, I hope you can see what's wrong with the quoted sentence in the above paragraph.

There is no such thing as perfection.

Your passion projects will never see the sunlight if you chase "perfect". Perfectionism will never get you what you want. It will, however, make you a procrastinator; a master of delay! 

Think of it in this way: every product that is launched in the market is presented to the world with a basic idea. The first product is usually not the best version. But over time, with further reviews and feedback from the user, brands modify and improve the quality of that product. This is how it is. 

Just get started, and modify your plans as you go. You will know what are the essential changes and additions required in your ideas or plans one by one.

So, just stop being so perfect, and get the damn thing out for the world to see! 

I lost a lot of time because of my "perfectionism". But I'm glad I finally realized that I have this shadow self that's keeping me from improving. 

Though late, I realised that my perfect can be someone else's average, and my average can be someone else's perfect. So, it's not worth putting a lot of thought or effort into being perfect, because perfect does not exist.

Your takeaway: Aim for progress and not perfection, because perfect does not exist, but progress does.

4. Not Challenging Yourself: Too Comfortable In Your Zone, Huh?

In my blog post 5 things I’ve learned about motivation, I briefly discussed how a little competition is important for motivation to kick in.

Now, why is this important? Because without motivation you can never get anything done. You need motivation even to pick up your laptop and turn it on. The motivation can be as simple as experiencing the pleasure of watching Netflix. But yeah, motivation is at work there.

If you want your dreams to come true, you should motivate yourself. But, motivation becomes a challenge if you are habitual in staying in your comfort zone. 

It's easy to be in your comfort zone. It's a familiar zone to your brain, so it feels safe to be there and your brain tries to keep you in the safe territories to ensure your safety. 

But is it that fruitful?

Your brain is doing its job in making sure you are safe, but our primitive reflexes sometimes overpower logic.

How many stupid decisions have you made in your life? It all came from fear! So, though quite advanced, our brain sometimes makes poor decisions because of these primitive reflexes, which are aimed to keep us safe, but are not helpful in many scenarios. And this is one such scenario.

So next time don't follow through when your brain says, "seems like a lot of work. Let's just postpone it for one more day.".

Our brain's intention is not bad, but you have to understand that to get something better you have to come out of your comfort zone. You have to take the risk that nobody else is willing to take. You can never learn without trying something new or getting yourself in trouble occasionally.

Ironically, being in your comfort zone and following your routine is not good for your brain either.

So, break the routine of being in the comfort zone. Do something new today. Challenge yourself.

As the famous saying goes:

Insanity is doing the same thing again and again and expecting different results.

If you want to achieve something you haven't until now, you can't be doing what you've been doing so far. Period.

Take a small step at a time, but take that damn step!

Conclusion

We all have a few habits that keep us stuck in one place. Nobody is perfect. But if you let your old habits keep you stuck in a loop, your situation will never change. 

You have to push through your weaknesses and your subconscious thoughts that keep negatively influencing you.

Introspect, and ask yourself: what are the things that keep you behind in life? The first thought that comes to your mind is the reason. It's quite likely that one of the above 4 will be your answer.

Sit down, have a little session of self-introspection, and try to focus on your behaviour:

• What do you do in your free time? 
• What is your thinking pattern? 
• How do you respond to stress? 
• Do you make excuses to get out of responsibilities quite often?

Try to answer these questions truthfully, and you'll know what's keeping you stuck.

So, what habits are not letting you move forward? 

Read Next:

The Best Method to Tackle Procrastination: The POMODORO Technique
10 Habits To Improve Your Memory and Boost Your Brain Health
5 Things I've Learned About Motivation

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© Quirky Writes 2020

Updated: November 2024